Negotiation is a process by which two parties resolve a conflict or come to an agreement on a plan of action.   Headlines feature stories of negotiations between nations and between corporations; however, headlines rarely mention the negotiations that each of us do daily.  On the job, we negotiate everything from work schedules to the price we pay for the supplies that we use.  At home, we negotiate the household budget, the location of our next vacation and curfew hours for teenagers.   Everything is negotiable.  Regardless of your status, here are some tips for effective negotiation.

 

Think big  

All too often we sell ourselves short by framing our position based on what we think that the other party will accept.  Afraid to ask for too much, we fail to ask for what we really want.  Before you enter the negotiation process, take time to clarify your desired outcome within your own mind.  You may not get everything, but you won’t even come close if you don’t know your objective.

 

Have and welcome options  

After clarifying your objectives, it is common to formulate a quick and easy pathway to achieve it.  Expand your chance for success by having several options that add flexibility and open the door to other avenues for achieving your objective.  As you negotiate, open your mind to options that may be proposed by your opponent.  Remember, your objective is to achieve your goal and if a mutual plan gets you there, embrace reasonable suggestions from the other side.

 

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare  

 Know your opponent, their resources and their needs.   Know the history of your relationship with the opponent as well as the way he/she prefers to conduct business.  In the recent negotiation with North Korea, the US team was aware that Kim Jong Un is drawn to high tech devices and loves movies.  The US team presented their position in the form of a movie trailer, loaded it on an iPad and gave it to the North Korean President for his viewing.  The opponent was eagerly drawn to this unique method for presenting the US expectations, eagerly viewed the movie clip and was more accepting the US position.

 

Listen 

There are several levels of listening.  Effective negotiators listen to understand the opponent’s position and to perceive the emotions that drive their decisions.  In contrast, ineffective negotiators listen in order to prepare a rebuttal.  Acute listening also reveals what is or is not possible based on current resources and allows you to modify your position as the opponent’s needs are clarified.

 

Use “no” effectively 

A plethora of advice has been written promoting the theme of “getting to yes.”  Your goal may be to have the deal close in your favor; however, coveting a “yes” response may weaken your position and set you up for failure.  Receiving a “no” response does not close the door.   It re-frames the context for moving forward.  You are in a better position when the opponent gives an honest negative than you are when you receive a false positive.  Remember, you also have the option of responding with “no” and sometimes walking from a bad deal positions you to re-negotiate a good deal.

 

Follow through and deliver as promised   

Never offer something that you can’t deliver and if you win the negotiation, follow through quickly.  Winning and dependably delivering the goods builds your reputation not only in this negotiation group, but also in your community.  Conversely, failure to deliver on a promise will kill any chances for landing the next deal.

Negotiation is a part of everyday life at home, at work, and in the world at large, yet many competent and capable people dread the thought of going after what they want.  Whether negotiating the price of a new car, the holiday work schedule or a curfew time for a teenager, be a successful negotiator and embrace every opportunity to create your desired outcome.  By clarifying your position and preparing for the meeting, you will gain self-confidence that will become evident both in your words and your body language.  Enter every meeting believing that you are more competent and capable than your opponent.  You may be no smarter or powerful than the other person, but your preparation and clarity of purpose supports an image of being an authority on the issue being negotiated and supports your credibility.  Position yourself for success both at home and at work by using the tips above to negotiate like a pro.

 

Thomas Davis is a noted leader, educator, speaker and clinical anesthetist. 

 

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