Make the connection

By Thomas Davis, CRNA, MAE, Lt.Col (ret)

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In 2013, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid services released a scathing report stating that 6 in 10 patients felt that they were not respected or heard by their healthcare providers.   Even though most patients reported having received competent medical care, the majority felt a disconnect between themselves and the healthcare system.  Similarly, one characteristic of an undesirable workplace is that workers sense that their opinions do not count and feel separate from the chain of command.  Whether you are a patient or a worker, feeling part of the whole is essential for a successful relationship.  Here are some principles for connecting with others that can be useful in both your personal and professional life.

Ask questions.  There is something exceptional about every person you meet, and you will seldom discover their hidden interests unless you ask questions.  As healthcare providers, we are trained to ask about symptoms that will guide the treatment we offer; however, we are less skilled at discovering the individuality of the person presenting with the problem.   By asking patients about both symptoms and concerns, we open the door to connecting with their personal life and the implications of how their disease will affect relationships in the family and at work.  Showing equal interest in the person and the medical condition is the first step to forming a meaningful relationship that will validate your patient as a unique individual.

Be a great listener.  Asking questions is meaningless unless you unless you are focused to hear the answer.  When listening, hear the words and try to understand the emotional meaning.  A patient may describe an ache or pain while the real concern is that he may not be able to continue in a job or recreational activity.  After actively listening, restate the perceived anxiety by saying, “I sense that you are concerned about…”    When people feel that you understand on an emotional level, a common bond forms that validates the person as an individual and gives them a sense that you care.

Develop a Starbucks mentality.  In old movies based in small town America, a local enters the store and the storekeeper knows the person by name as well as the details of his family.  The customer feels welcome to be there and the attendant has a “customer is right” mentality with a desire to satisfy the customer.   At Bux they welcome you as you enter the door by saying, “Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get started for you?”  At Sams they refer to customers as “guests.” It’s part of customer service training at Bux and Sam’s to connect immediately through a warm welcome.  Though healthcare is far from being a country store, interacting with a friendly, down-home attitude creates a personal link with patient and employee alike.

Discover areas of commonality.   Finding and discussing common interests with another person is a wonderful way to establish unity.  As you ask questions and concentrate on answers, you will discover similarities with the other person.  Acknowledging shared values and areas of interest exposes you as a real person beyond your position as a healthcare provider.  Be careful NOT to one-up the person by making your experience more important than theirs.

Acknowledge anxiety.  Patients seek healthcare either to address a specific concern or to maintain their current health.  Both scenarios carry anxiety; those with a problem fear the implications and those who are currently healthy fear the discovery of an unknown health problem.   Assume that all patients are anxious and listen with empathy.  Let the person know you are willing and ready to discuss both their medical condition and their concern about the consequences.

Be a friend.  In a professional relationship, you do not need to become a BFF but it is important that the person views you as being genuinely friendly with an honest interest in their wellbeing.  Establish a specialized relationship by encouraging the individual to tell you something that interests them on a personal level.  A favorite question that I often ask is, “Tell me something about yourself that is not on your medical record.”  Suddenly, the person fees as if he is more than someone in need of medical treatment, he is a real human being with a life of his own.   Make it a goal to know the patient well enough to introduce her to a co-worker without reference to the medical condition.  “This is Mary and when she is not with us, she cares for her grandchildren and loves to tend her garden.”  By asking my favorite question I learned that my 63-year-old female patient was a pool shark.  Another former patient was top 10 in table tennis in the State of New York.  Each person, whether patient or colleague is unique and interesting.

Regardless of your position in healthcare or elsewhere, connecting with clients and colleagues is the key to success.  Unlike finding a cure for cancer – a monumental task requiring years of research and a huge investment of resources – the perception of patients not being respected, as identified by CMS, can be cured today by healthcare providers who are focused on connecting with everyone they encounter.  In fact, connection IS the cure.

Special thanks to my wife and editor, Liz Sanner Davis.

Thomas Davis is a noted leader, educator, speaker and clinical anesthetist. 

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